Alternative Shopping Infos

Is it possible to be embarrassed twenty years after the fact? I was cleaning out old boxes and found the autobiography that my middle daughter had written in the sixth grade. I call it the “expose.” She tells all. It could compete with “Mommy Dearest” if I were a dead movie star. On one page, my daughter spews, “My mom yells at my dad a lot unless she wants him to do something like take out the trash. Then she calls him handsome, good-looking or muscles.”

The more I read the more I sunk back into the corner of the attic, determined not to show my face around here again. How many people did the teacher share this with? The principal? The Health and Welfare authorities? There was also mention of the time that I locked the children in the backyard so that I could finish cleaning the house completely before they started messing it up again. It really wasn’t ten o’clock at night in a blizzard with no caps or boots or food. It was summer. Honest. They had a swing set, a sandbox, a playhouse and a picnic lunch. Of course it’s my word against theirs and there are five of them. Just send some food to the attic once in a while and pretend I’m that relative no one talks about. At least she received an “A” on the assignment. I’m sure that it was worth the humiliation. That teacher always gave me a strange look when the rest of my children reached her class.

I don’t know if I was born. I don’t know where I was born. I don’t know for whom I was born. I don’t know the purpose of my birth. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know my name. I don’t know my mother. I don’t know my father. I don’t know if I have any brothers or sisters. I don’t know about my cousins.

I don’t know if I am alive. I don’t know why I was made to go to school. I don’t know why I studied once there. I don’t know why I joined college. I don’t know physics. I don’t know chemistry. I don’t know mathematics. I don’t know the alphabet even. I don’t know to write. I don’t know to read. I don’t know why I loved a girl. I don’t know why I married. I don’t know why I did not marry the girl I loved. I don’t know who my kids are. I don’t know where my kids are. I don’t know how old they are.

I don’t know why I love. I don’t know why I like. I don’t know why I feel so happy. I don’t know why I feel so sad. I don’t know why do I feel at all? I don’t know why there are so few persons with whom I feel I can be the real me. I don’t know why there are so few persons who have access to my innermost feelings. I don’t know why I hurt them so much. I don’t know why they understand me so much. I don’t know why they don’t hate me. I don’t know why they like me. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I don’t know if these can be counted as the world’s best keyword optimized paragraphs. I don’t know if “I don’t know” counts as a keyword. I don’t know. I don’t know why I don’t know…

Shubhanyu Jain is the co-founder of Inmistia and the Editor of Inmistia Oneness. His site provides valuable information and tips on health-related issues. This site touches various topics related to personal health, suggests tips for various health disorders. Visitors will revel in the sheer abundance of information available on the site on everything related to their health. Visit Inmistia Oneness for more information.

Scientists have discovered that by injecting fetal pig embryos
with phosphorescent dyes the adult pigs will have green skin and
glow in the dark. All I can about this is: Well, it’s about
time! I can’t count the number of times I needed to find my pig
in the middle of the night and I had to struggle to find my
glasses and turn on a light. This will sure be a huge time saver
for me, I can tell you, now that I can get a pig that will shine
as bright as day.

My question for the scientists is whether they bothered to
consult the Lord God Almighty before they did this. Forgive me
if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Old Jehovah still own the patent for
creating new life? I don’t know, maybe it expired. It’s a good
thing that they were able to do this before they did another
wasteful project like curing cancer. Cancer’s been around
forever, but this is the first time we’ve ever had glow in the
dark pork and I would rather have that over cancer any darn day.
Wouldn’t you?

There is a real purpose for the scientists to make these unique
porcines. And that purpose is to … find their pigs in the
dark, I guess. Okay, that’s not the reason they gave. They said
it was so that they could track medicines that could be used in
human beings because pigs are often used for animal research
since they are so close to human beings. I know you ladies will
claim that this is only true for the half of the human race, but
it really is all of us.

So, that’s why the scientists say they did it, but let’s face
fact here: The real reason is that it’s just plain fun. Wouldn’t
you want a pet that glowed in the dark? I sure would. And we all
know that pigs make wonderful pets. Look at George Clooney. He
has a Vietnamese pot bellied pig and he just loves the thing.
Sure they get a might heavy as they get older, but most of us do
and I would personally love a huge fat pet that made me feel
skinny by comparison.

Then let’s take this a step further. Say that for some reason
you do get tired of your huge green glowing friend? Glowing pork
chops. Mmm, mmm. That would be sort of like a candle light meal,
only you wouldn’t be eating your meal by candle light but by the
light of the meat itself. Imagine how much more romantic that
would be.