Alternative Shopping Infos

A prospect’s mind is an intimate place where something I call The Inner Score Keeping System dwells.

Simply put, it’s a fundamental model that you can use as a metaphor to help explain the way prospects govern their inner decision-making.

It’s true that a potential buyer will profile several things in the background while evaluating an offer. Many little decisions are made along the way that lead up to the BIG yes or no final decision.

Some of these are subconscious thoughts while other times one may even notice their own mind chatter. However, in any case, a decision process is in action.

In the situation where a prospect is evaluating a sales offer, here is an overview of events going on deep inside the prospect’s mind.

While responding to the offer, the prospect instinctively invokes a scoring system, which helps in evaluating the offer.

We ALL have this judgment system inside of us that we respond with.

This Inner Score Keeping System occurs mostly behind the scenes as we don’t focus on the inner process. Although it is transparent to us, it’s still there.

It deals with the balancing scale of acceptance and rejection. When we buy, it assists us in weighing our decisions based on emotions and logic.

When positive emotions are triggered in a sales offer, they theoretically score acceptance points, which are intended to collectively add-up over rejection. Rejection points always lean toward discouraging the buy.

Thus, in this virtual score-keeping setting, points equal positive or negative measurements of emotions (or logic) in proportion to the sales offer. This inner-judgment that we invisibly process, determines the outcome of the offers we evaluate.

We, as the prospective buyer, keep calculating this inner score in the background. The sales copy attempts to win us over by scoring maximum acceptance points, provoking the action to buy.

You know when you get a gut feeling ‘to buy or not to buy’, this is our inner score keeping system I am talking about. It regulates our buying behaviors and helps us make buying decisions.

Thus, when a prospect interfaces with a sales letter offer, it instinctively prompts this decision making process. It all comes down to a final response to the offer.

Ultimately, the prospect will either accept the offer to buy… or reject the offer and leave.

Hence: The Inner Score Keeping System.

The overall message I am suggesting here is to learn to think like a buyer if you want to get on the other side of the sale… the selling side.

Of course we all have plenty of buying experience. But, since we do no not usually think about the process when we buy, we miss the boat on knowing what actually makes us buy.

In other words, when we buy, we are not considering all of the elements that add up to the final buying decision. We just buy or pass on the offer.

However, there is much to be learned from this and thinking like a buyer is by far the best way to unlock your prospect’s mind to make the sale!

(c) Michael Nicholas, 2004

Michael Nicholas is the author of, Order Button Triggers. His ground breaking ebook focuses on how to get prospects to click the order button to buy. Featuring over 30 years of Internet marketing experience combined, Michael brought in top marketers to tell how they do it. Click for more info==> http://www.orderbuttontriggers.com

For many people the end of a year is a time of increased stress. Instead of relaxing and unwinding from a busy year, the pressures of buying gifts, travelling or spending time with long lost relatives makes it a difficult time.

In our household for example, my 4 year-old daughter’s excitement levels have been taken to new highs by performing in front of 800 people as a ‘teddy bear’ in her first ever ballet concert.

Loaded on top of this was her Kindergarten show, this time performing the role of an ‘angel’ in a Nativity Play, and counting down the days to our four-week trip to Tasmania.

Just yesterday, she woke at 5.15 am and started packing her bags to go. I smiled when she told me she had packed 8 videos for the trip!

Now I’m really looking forward to our holiday and spending time at Freycinet Lodge on the Island’s east-coast, feeling the crunch of pristine white sand under my feet at Wineglass Bay, watching the sun set over the pink granite outcrops of ‘The Hazards’ and tasting the fresh salty tang of locally grown pacific oysters.

But it won’t be easy getting ready, packing and then travelling for 12 hours with full luggage and 2 children under 5 years old.

Add to this the fact we’re staying with relatives. So what is the solution?

Here are my Top 5 Ways to make End of Year Holidays a relaxing and stress
free time.

1. CLARIFY AND SHARE EXPECTATIONS.

Be aware of the extra pressure on families at this time of the year. Clarify with family members what each individual wants from the break. For me, it may be reading all those business books I didn’t get time for during the year. I know for my wife, it is getting extra help looking after the children and spending time together as a family. How can both these needs be met? Use these three questions to clarify the needs and wants of others at this busy time. What do you want? What do you dread? What will put a smile on your face?

2. PLAN, MONITOR AND BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR BUDGET.

Money issues can be a big source of conflict at the end of the year. It is meant to be a time for gift giving and sharing but it can get out of hand. Set a budget for gifts, entertainment and food. Stick to the budget and monitor it regularly so you don’t overspend.

3. DELEGATE RESPONSIBILITY AND SHARE TASKS.

You can’t do everything all of the time. Many people strive for perfection at the end of the year because of the many positive and festive images portrayed by the media. Be realistic and work out what you can and can’t achieve. Ask for and get help. Be prepared to give up some control to share the load.

4. COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS.

The end of the year, and in Western cultures Christmas, is an emotional time. Share your feelings of joy with others. If you’re feeling stressed, let others know how you feel and ask for support.

5. KEEP UP YOUR REGULAR ROUTINE.

Keep doing the things you have enjoyed doing during the year, like exercise and eating well. Take time out for yourself and your family.

Thomas Murrell MBA CSP is an international business speaker, consultant and award-winning broadcaster. Media Motivators is his regular electronic magazine read by 7,000 professionals in 15 different countries.
You can subscribe by visiting http://www.8mmedia.com Thomas can be contacted directly at +6189388 6888 and is available to speak to your conference, seminar or event. Visit Tom’s blog at http://www.8mmedia.blogspot.com

You just filled out a mountain of loan application forms. Now, you wait for a call from the loan officer. You feel confident; loan applications have never been a problem for you. The phone rings and your loan officer says, “there’s a problem with your credit report”. Your frustration increases because you know your high FICO Score (Fair Isaac Credit Organization) saves you money. Something must be inaccurate on your credit report. Now what?

Since credit and identity verification play a major role when applying for a loan, take action to get the FICO Score you deserve on your credit report. FICO uses a mathematical model when giving every creditor a score. FICO scores:

* Your payment history

* Your debt level (how much you owe now)

* What types of credit you used in the past

* Your credit history (how many years have you been borrowing)

* Your most recent credit approvals

If you think you are the only loan applicant with credit report inaccuracies, you are not! Mistakes on credit reports are the norm. Errors on credit reports affect more than 75 percent of consumers. Misrepresentations on your credit report hurt you in a number of ways.

Loan report errors may keep you from getting the job you want. Many employers use credit reports when considering you as an employee. Loan report errors may cost you more when applying for insurance coverage; insurance companies raise rates for people with low credit scores.

When you get turned-down for a loan, get a higher interest rate than usual, get turned-down for a job, or your insurance premiums are rated highly, you can get help. If your credit report led to these higher costs for services, you are eligible for credit repair.

Finding credit report errors is the first step. Most of us just have no idea how to fix these errors. Getting turned-down for credit disappoints and frustrates. Fixing the problem yourself may overwhelm and discourage. Getting help from an expert will help you work through these issues professionally and effectively.

Of course preventing these mistakes on your credit report is the first step toward credit prevention and protection. Fixing credit reports takes a lot of time; get professional help to fix them before you run into problems and embarrassment. Asking for help saves you time and money. For example, an undiscovered credit report error could cost you one to two percent in interest rates on a $100,000 mortgage making you pay more than $40,000 in over-payments during the life of the loan.

The Fair Credit Reporting Act guarantees the right of the consumer to dispute any inaccurate and erroneous or obsolete information showing up on your credit report. A credit expert helps you exercise your rights guaranteed under this Act. Take your first step by reviewing the credit repair resources found at Better Credit Repair.com

Larry Guidi is affiliated with Benchmark Literacy Group Credit Educational Services as an independent representative. He offers consumers a 12-month clean credit checkup through the three major credit bureaus: Experian, Equifax and, TransUnion. Larry is a well-known advocate of consumer reporting accuracy. You may call Larry Guidi (408)210-4035) and learn how he can help you increase your credit score. Learn more about his services at Better Credit Guaranteed.com - Copyright 2005 Larry Guidi

In recent years, it has become more common for victims of accidental injury who accept a settlement from the at-fault party to accept a structured settlement instead of a lump-sum payment. With a structured settlement, the injured party receives payments over an agreed-upon length of time - five years, ten years, or even a lifetime, rather than receiving payment up front in a lump sum.

There are advantages to this for both parties. The injured party may require constant medical care, and the regular payments of a structured settlement guarantee that income will be available to cover the medical expenses. For the paying party, the settlement can be paid by purchasing an annuity, which allows an upfront payment to accrue interest, thereby producing a larger long-term yield from a minimal investment. In many cases, a structured settlement is viewed as a win-win situation for both parties.

There are restrictions on structured settlements that may not suit everyone. Once you agree to accept a structured settlement, you cannot trade it back in for a lump sum payment, nor may you use it for collateral for a loan. What if you want to buy a home and pay cash? What if some other unexpected expense comes up and you simply do not have the cash available? Under certain circumstances, you may be able to sell your structured settlement to a third party.

There are companies that are interested in purchasing structured settlements for investment purposes. Perhaps one or more of these companies has already contacted you. They will agree to pay you a lump sum, in cash, in exchange for you signing over your future annuity payments to them. Be aware that any party that offers to buy your annuity is interested in doing so for investment purposes. They wish to make money on the transaction, and for them, that profit will be spread over the long time that it takes to receive all of the payments that constitute the settlement. Once you combine the factors of time, interest, inflation, and the buying party’s profit, you will find that the offer made to you will seem quite small. The amount you receive will be an amount equal to the present day value of the settlement, minus whatever sum the investors require for their profit on the transaction.

You should also know that some states prohibit the sale of structured settlements, that some insurance companies who handle the annuities prohibit sales to a third party, and that you will probably need to go to court to arrange the sale. In addition, there may be tax considerations involved in the sale, and the taxes due on large sums of money are not insignificant. If you are interested in selling your structured settlement, you will definitely want to discuss the sale with an attorney and a tax advisor beforehand.

While structured settlements are designed to benefit those who receive them, there are times when it may be desirable or necessary to sell them. If you are considering selling your settlement, make sure that you weigh all of your options carefully. Once you agree to sell, you cannot get it back.

©Copyright 2005 by Retro Marketing. Charles Essmeier is the owner of Retro Marketing, a firm devoted to informational Websites, including http://www.StructuredSettlementHelp.com/ and http://www.HomeEquityHelp.net/

The good news is that most people can wear black and look great. Women buy black, sometimes in large quantities - it’s all they wear, because it is always available, it’s versatile and it has a reputation for being slimming. A note here, black is not always slimming. If worn too tightly, black outlines the silhouette and will actually make a person appear larger. The same is true for black hose; black will define the shape of your leg. If you like your leg shape or you want them to appear smaller wear black. However, if do not want to draw attention to your leg shape do not wear black hose.

Wearing black can make you look elegant or it can make you look tired and drab. If you find that wearing black near your face makes you look drab you might need a touch of color or you may need a lower neckline. Experiment to find out how to wear black, here are a few suggestions:

1. Wear metallic jewelry near your face - a necklace, earrings, or scarf. If you have cool coloring wear silver; warm coloring wear gold.

2. Try a turtleneck and then a scoop neckline (with accessories). Can you see a difference? Which looks better or are they both equal?

3. Wear a black print near your face, either a print scarf or a top.

4. If you find black is not flattering near your face, choose a flattering color to wear in place of black and keep your skirt, jacket and pants black.

If you feel black is not good for you try another neutral such as navy or cream. Wear accessories to bring the color alive.

©Copyright2005 Sheila Dicks

Sheila Dicks is an Image and Wardrobe consultant who helps women feel more confident by dressing to suit their body type. To get tips on how to dress slimmer and find your best styles get a copy of her ebook “Image Makeover” at http://www.how-to-dress.com or go to http://www.sheilasfashionsense.com to get the Free Report ” 7 Things Your Girlfriends Won’t Tell You About Beauty and Fashion”.

We have heard it so many times before that there are many
benefits to exercise especially when used to lower stress. If
everyone knows that exercise is important then why is stress,
disease, and fatigue so prevalent in today’s society? The answer
is simple. We know what to do we just aren’t doing it.

Experts agree that one best way to manage stress is through
exercise. Exercise has been proven to relax the body and mind,
burn fat, improve cardiovascular system, bring in more oxygen,
reduce the chance of diseases, lower blood pressure and the list
goes on.

During the stress response, many chemical reactions occur in the
body preparing it to what is known as the fight or flight
response. During prehistoric days as cave dwellers, we had the
opportunity to burn off our stress when an animal attacked, as
it was a means of survival. We were able to run away or fight
the threat immediately. In today’s society, we do not have to
fight a bear or tiger, so we do not have much of an outlet
readily at hand to burn off the stress or pent up negative
emotions. Therefore, we carry it with us creating emotional and
physical problems. Exercise can help by providing an outlet for
negative emotions such as worry, irritability, depression,
hostility, anger, frustration, and anxiety. You can dissipate
these feelings by simply taking it out on the tennis court, by
running, or punching a bag. Regular exercise provides the
opportunity to manage the fight or flight response and helps the
body to return to a homeostasis or balanced state more quickly.

Exercise can also improve self-esteem and self worth by
realizing that you are benefit directly. You may feel more
outgoing and social because of the increased energy and also a
better physique creating more confidence and positive self
image. Your self-esteem may be enhanced by taking on exercise
challenges or goals, giving you a feeling of accomplishment and
reward.

Anaerobic vs. Aerobic Exercise: Aerobic exercise is an activity
that uses major muscle groups such as walking, running,
swimming, and cycling. This type of exercise strengthens your
cardiovascular system by increasing your heart and respiratory
rate and brings in more oxygen into the body. To reap the full
benefits of aerobic exercise, you must be at 60%-80% of your
target heart rate for at least 20 minutes, between three and
five times a week.

To calculate your target heart rate use the following formula:
Take 220 - (subtract) your age X (multiply 60%, or 70%, etc.
intensity rate.) = Target heart rate (divide by six for a ten
second pulse count. Take your pulse for ten seconds and gage
where you are during the workout. Speed up the pace if you are
below 60%.

Aerobic exercise is key to lose weight as it burns calories
which are the energy consumed and adds fat to our bodies.
Combined with a healthy diet it is a sure way to lose weight.
One pound of body fat is equivalent to 3500 calories. To lose
one pound, you must burn 3500 calories. It is easier to combine
aerobics and create a small caloric deficit in your diet than to
do one or the other solely.

Anaerobic exercise builds muscle strength and power. Isotonics
and Isometrics are two kinds of anaerobic exercises.

Isotonics uses your muscles to contract against an object with
movement such as weight lifting (also called strength or
resistance training.) The benefits of isotonic exercises are
stronger muscles, stronger bones, tone, prevent injuries, and
condenses and shapes muscle for better esthetics.

Isometric exercise is contracting your muscles against
resistance without movement. Such as lifting an object like a
dumbbell and holding a position. You are isolating that muscle.

Use both types of anaerobic exercises to maximize your strength
to build healthy, lean, and strong muscles.

Select exercises that you enjoy and can do for at least 20
minutes, three to five days a week. Exercise does not
necessarily mean hitting the gym and making an ordeal out of it.
It can simply be a walk around your neighborhood or dancing to
some tunes. Try to think “activity” verses “exercise”. When you
are in an active mind-frame, you will purposely park a little
farther, do stretches at the computer, take the stairs instead
of the elevator, etc.

Commit that you will begin to be more active and stick to your
exercises or activities for 21 days. Why 21? Research has showed
that it takes about 21 days to create a habit. Document how your
feel after the 21 days. Your stress levels should be lowered,
you should feel more energized, and see some physical changes
such as a slimmer physique.

You may already know the benefits of exercise but are you doing
it? So start by making a decision, begin slowly, then gradually
work up to more and longer workout sessions. The point of this
article is to help you take immediate action.

In the words of Nike…well, you know.

To your health.

If you are on a salt free or low salt diet you have discovered how difficult grocery shopping and meal preparation can be. Your doctor told you to reduce or eliminate salt in your diet. Your initial thought is you could simply stop using the salt shaker, but soon discover that salt is really called sodium. You start reading the nutrition facts labels on food packages and wonder how you are going to cut salt out of your diet when it’s in everything you eat. Here is what you need to know about sodium in food.

Sodium (aka Salt) Facts

Recognize which foods are high in sodium and take control of what you eat.

Healthy Choices

Copyright 2005 Joan Watsabaugh

Joan Watsabaugh is the CEO of AlsoSalt, LLC. A true scientific breakthrough, AlsoSalt offers the taste of salt without the adverse health risks of sodium. It is completely sodium free without the bitter aftertaste other salt substitutes have. You can cook and bake with AlsoSalt or simply sprinkle it over food. Plus, it has the added dietary benefit of nutrients which are essential to good health. http://www.alsosalt.com/

The mountains in western North Carolina are among the most beautiful in the entire United States. Three mountain ranges — the Great Smoky Mountains, the Appalachian Mountains, and the Blue Ridge Mountains — converge in North Carolina, giving the area a charm unsurpassed in the rest of the country. These three mountain ranges provide the perfect backdrop for a fun and adventurous North Carolina mountain vacation.

There are a wide variety of attractions in the mountains of North Carolina. Visitors can go camping in the vast wilderness surrounding the mountains, stay in an historic cabin not unlike the dwellings of the area’s early settlers, or stay in a modern, state of the art resort. The Appalachian Trail, Nantahala National Forest, and the Western North Carolina Nature Center are just a few of the exciting places to visit in this region.

The Appalachian Trail is a footpath that stretches over 2000 miles from northern Georgia all the way to central Maine. This beautiful trail winds through some of the most stunning parts of the mountains in North Carolina. Clingmans Dome, the highest point on the trail, provides a breathtaking panoramic view of the surrounding area. On a clear day, visitors can see up to 100 miles away.

Nantahala National Forest encompasses many of the peaks and valleys of the western North Carolina mountains. It includes the Tusquitee River. Another attraction of the Nantahala area is the river rafting. There are difficult class II and III rapids along with calmer waters more agreeable to families.

The Western North Carolina Nature Center offers a number of features for visitors. The Center has a petting zoo, gardens, a predator habitat, a nocturnal hall, and other interesting and educational attractions to lure visitors. The Center also serves as a sanctuary for injured or orphaned animals that could not survive in the wild.

A North Carolina mountain vacation is a great idea for a family, or as a romantic getaway. The beautiful scenery and fascinating attractions will please anyone.
Mountain Vacations Info provides detailed information on vacations in the Rocky, Blue Ridge, and Great Smoky Mountains, as well as mountain biking vacations and mountain rental cabins in Colorado, North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and other destinations. Mountain Vacations Info is the sister site of Dude Ranch Web.

The Delaware State Agency that oversees the collection and reporting of State income taxes deducted from payroll checks is:

Division of Revenue Withholding Division
820 N. French St.
Wilmington, DE 19801
302-577-8200
www.state.de.us/revenue

Delaware allows you to use the Federal W-4 form to calculate state income tax withholding.

Not all states allow salary reductions made under Section 125 cafeteria plans or 401(k) to be treated in the same manner as the IRS code allows. In Delaware cafeteria plans are: not taxable for income tax calculation; taxable for unemployment insurance purposes. 401(k) plan deferrals are: not taxable for income taxes; taxable for unemployment purposes.

In Delaware supplemental wages are required to be aggregated for the withholding calculation..

You must file your Delaware State W-2s by magnetic media if you are required to file your federal W-2s by magnetic media.

The Delaware State Unemployment Insurance Agency is:

The Department of Labor
Division of Unemployment Insurance
4425 N. Market St.
Wilmington, DE 19802
302-761-8446
http://www.delawareworks.com/Unemployment/welcome.shtml

The State of Delaware taxable wage base for unemployment purposes is wages up to $8,500.00.

Delaware has optional reporting of quarterly wages on magnetic media.

Unemployment records must be retained in Delaware for a minimum period of four years. This information generally includes: name; social security number; dates of hire, rehire and termination; wages by period; payroll pay periods and pay dates; date and circumstances of termination.

The Delaware State Agency charged with enforcing the state wage and hour laws is:

The Department Labor
Division of Industrial Affairs
Labor Law Enforcement Section
4425 N. Market St.
Wilmington, DE 19802
302-761-8200
www.delawareworks.com

The minimum wage in Delaware is $6.15 per hour.

There is also no general provision in Delaware State Law covering paying overtime in a non-FLSA covered employer.

Delaware State new hire reporting requirements are that every employer must report every new hire and rehires. The employer must report the federally required elements of:

• Employee’s name
• Employee’s address
• Employee’s social security number
• Employer’s name
• Employers address
• Employer’s Federal Employer Identification Number (EIN)

This information must be reported within 20 days of the hiring or rehiring.
The information can be sent as a W4 or equivalent by mail, fax or electronically.
There is a $25.00 penalty for a late report in Delaware.

The Delaware new hire reporting agency can be reached at 302-577-7171 or on the web site at www.state.de.us/dhss/dcse/index.html .

Delaware does not allow compulsory direct deposit.

Delaware requires the following information on an employee’s pay stub:

• Wages due
• pay period dates
• hours worked for hourly workers
• itemized deductions

Delaware requires that employee be paid no less often than monthly.

Delaware requires that employees must be paid within 7 days after the end of the pay period.

Delaware payroll law requires that involuntarily or voluntarily terminated employees must be paid their final pay by the next regular payday or by mail upon request.

Deceased employee’s wages up to $300.00 must be paid to the surviving children under 21 custodian, surviving spouse, children 21 and over or the deceased’s parents (in that order) when a “Proper Demand” has been made.

Escheat laws in Delaware require that unclaimed wages be paid over to the state after five years.

There is no provision in Delaware law concerning record retention of abandoned wage records.

Delaware payroll laws allow for a tip credit against Delaware State minimum wage of $3.92 per hour.

In Delaware the payroll laws covering mandatory rest or meal breaks are: a 30-minute meal period during a 7 and one half-hour shift. Taking place after the first two hours and before the last two hours o the shift.

The Delaware law requires that wage and hour records be retained for a period of at least three years.

The Delaware agency charged with enforcing Child Support Orders and laws is:

Division of Child Support Enforcement
P.O. Box 904
New Castle, DE 19720
302-577-7171
http://www.dhss.delaware.gov/dhss/dcse/services.html

Delaware has the following provisions for child support deductions:

• When to start Withholding? 7 days after first payday after receipt of order.
• When to send Payment? Payday.
• When to send Termination Notice? “Promptly”
• Maximum Administrative Fee? No Provision
• Withholding Limits? Federal Rules under CCPA.

Charles J. Read, CPA has been in the payroll, accounting and tax business for 30 years, the last fifteen in private practice. Mr. Read is the author of “How to Start a New Business”. For Professional Payroll services at a Budget Price go to http://www.PayrollonaBudget.com a Paperless Payroll Company. Go to http://www.CustomPayroll.com For a full service payroll service bureau with CPA’s on staff. See an excerpt of Mr. Read’s interviews from William Shatners “Heartbeat of America” television show on the websites linked above.

Who Is Some Who Loves You?

1. Someone who sees the best in you.

If you were lucky enough to grow up with healthy parents, you have experienced the feeling of having someone who has always looked at your good qualities. Many of us missed that experience. You will be a lucky person if you have found a mate who is always looking at your ’silver lining’. Too often today people are more than willing to judge you by your errors, not by your potential.

2. Someone who gives you the benefit of the doubt.

There are so many times in your life when you need that little edge, that little opportunity to take just that extra step. It can seem as if your efforts are going nowhere and although you want to keep moving forward, there are so many negatives staring you in the face. That person who knows things could go either way for you but takes that leap to believe you will make it is the person who is more valuable to you than gold.

3. Someone who watches over you.

You need a guardian angel who is there, waiting to catch you if you fall, ready to help you when you stumble, ready to pave the way for you when you cannot get moving. There are people who love you who do just that. There are people who do not make a big deal out of saving your bacon. Do you know who they are?

4. Someone to watch you back.

You never know these days who is waiting to catch you off guard, to make sure you don’t do well, to sabotage your efforts. You like to think that people will rejoice when you

do well. Many don’t. If someone ‘has your back’ and runs interference for you when you are trying to run the gauntlet through life, give that person a big ‘thanks’ plus lots of your attention.

5. The person who tells you we all make mistakes.

You hate to be around that judgemental, harsh person who reminds you, ‘I told you so’, when things so south. You don’t need anyone else telling you what you already know. On the other hand there are people who just let you know that the only way any of us learn is through experience. When you have really ended up in the dumper and blew it, stay close to the one who knows that the person who hasn’t done anything wrong hasn’t done anything much.

6. The person who gives you advice from the heart, not from the head.

When the situation gets rough and some big decisions need to be made, it’s fine to have people outline the pros and cons of a problem and give you ‘head’ answers. But if you need a nudge sometimes to tip the scales, you always listen to this person who knows you must do what will let you live with yourself and have self respect.

7. The person who won’t be the ‘yes man’ who agrees with you

No one who loves you is going to give you the green light and tell you to let er rip if it’s clearly going to be bad for you. It’s sad that often you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear. The one who loves you will tell you to get help for a drinking or drugging problem, to stop the extramarital affair, and to be a good and decent person.

8. Someone who tells you to knock back, smell the roses, and enjoy life part of the time.

If you are a person who is a real performer and doer, there are likely to be people around you who enjoy the fruits of your labor and want you to do even more. Sometimes you may even see yourself as only valuable when you are giving, doing, and performing. Listen to the person who tells you that life is short and you need breaks and some R&R. That is the person who is looking out for you and your health.

9. The one who smiles at you and means it.

The person who loves you looks at you with eyes that smile and mean it. Too many people give you that slick smile, that quick pat on the back, and then forget that you even exist.

The eyes are the windows of our soul and you can read into a person’s smile if it is saying, ‘You are a fine person and I want to be with you as long as possible’. Don’t fall for any phony smile that attracts you off in another direction, only to leave you stranded and alone.

10. Someone who sees you as beautiful, inside and out.

You know you aren’t perfect. There are only too many examples of you looking around and thinking that you have flaws and aren’t like the people on television. The person who loves you sees you through eyes of acceptance with no conditions. As you gain a few pounds and your hair gets thin, the person who sees you as attractive, inviting, and appealing is the person who loves you all the way, no strings or demands.

Nowadays, it’s really important to know who loves you. Everything in our society is throw away, and many people have carried that over into the most important relationships in their lives. Think hard and look carefully. People who love you , like comfortable clothes, are easy on the heart, mind, and soul.

About The Author

Sharon Schurman is a retired clinical counselor. Her site, http://www.depression-help-guide.com offers information tips, suggestions and and self help for all types of depression.